Baby Steps Toward Greatness

“The dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you’re willing to pay the price.” – Vince Lombardi

Every journey requires a first step. Sometimes it’s small, simply a toe-dip into cold water. Other times, we make leaps, throwing caution to the wind and taking several chances. Either way, that first step is by far the greatest one.

The problem most people have with picking a goal and sticking to it is taking that first step. What people tend to overlook is that you can’t get anywhere without it. Not to your car, the kitchen, the gym, your bedroom, whatever. The initial step is everything. But people don’t seem to really want to reach their goals these days. They like the idea of possibly achieving something in life, but they don’t really ache for it. They aren’t completely committed to taking that step, and that’s why they don’t move forward in the direction they were aiming for.

Picture yourself alone in your apartment, sitting on the couch, watching your favorite game. Suddenly, you realize you’ve forgotten to grab a beer, and are now faced with a dilemma. Seeing as you have nobody in the house to do your work for you, you can either watch your game while sipping a delicious mocha porter that you just got off your ass to get, or you could continue to sit there wishing you had the energy to get back up from your comfortable position to get yourself one.

Something tells me, if you really are serious about drinking your beer with your game (as you should be), you’ll find it within yourself to get up off the couch to pop open a bottle of icy, hoppy goodness.

Oh baby!

Oh baby!

So if you can find it in yourself to get up off the couch to grab a beer, what’s holding you back from getting out of your comfort zone and making a move towards greatness? When it comes down to it, both moves need some desire on your part, so in order to be as successful as you want to be, you have to want it badly enough to get up and go after it.

The second biggest problem people have with reaching their goals is continuing past the first step. Sometimes we dip our toe into the water and immediately retract it, screaming and flailing our arms, saying it’s too cold and there was no way in hell we were getting in. But usually the initial shock of the cold only lasts a minute or so before we adjust to the temperature, and before you know if you’re swimming in a warm, refreshing pool, and soaking up all the sunshine. But you’d never know unless you grit your teeth and got in all the way.

The first step is also the most challenging, however. It can be a big commitment. But if something is worth having, it’s not going to be that easy to get. You have to work for it, and I think most people have just gotten lazy. We were born and raised in a lazy society. People hardly work off of their own sweat and tears anymore. Half of us practically had life handed to us on a silver platter. We have every single opportunity in the world to make something of ourselves, but all we can do is complain and ask to be spoon-fed. While there are hundreds of thousands of people wishing they had access to even half the resources we do, we still continue to hold weekly meetings with the pity party and talk about how we’ll never get to where we want to be.

Get off the fucking breast milk and be independent. Realize that yes, life is hard, and yes, life sucks a lot of the time. But you can’t learn to fly if you keep clipping your own wings and refusing to face life. You’re too old to be in the safe nest you grew up in. You’ve got to build your own. No one is going to create your ideal life for you. Only you can. But you’ve got to take that first step, and you’ve got to follow it up with another one. And another one after that. It may take you a lifetime, but eventually you will reach the finish line. It all depends on how much you are giving into the fatigue.

To a professional athlete, pain and fatigue are just side effects of being the best. And as long as they continue to fight these things, they will continue to come out on top. It’s how they got there in the first place, and how they stay there. Nobody wins the gold by sitting on their ass eating potato chips. We spend too much of our time saying, “I wish I could” instead of, “I’m going to give it a try”. You want to be a pro gymnast? Train for it. You want to start your own business? Invest. You want to own a house? Work for it. Not all of us are lucky enough to have our life handed to us, and even then it seems the people that are aren’t really happy. They’re missing something. And I feel that what they’re missing is the pride and satisfaction that comes from knowing that you worked to your fullest extent and paid off every debt in life with real blood, sweat, and tears. Nothing can take that kind of satisfaction away.

You don’t always have to cannonball into the deep end, but you’ve got to get your feet wet before you learn how to swim.

A Curious Weight Loss Debate

It has come to my attention that most women of the world seem to think that some men are shallow, selfish pigs by thinking their wife or partner would be more desirable if she lost some weight.

Call me a traitress, but I see nothing wrong with the man’s point of view.

I believe that society has become far too endearing. Everything is excusable, and everyone gets over-offended about everything. We have all gone into bitch mode and don’t know how to handle some constructive criticism without falling apart. Therefore, nothing can be criticized out of fear of offending somebody…even if the criticism is warranted.

DISCLAIMER: Before you read this…I am not talking about a 5-10 lb. weight gain, and neither is the study. It is also not referring to women who began as underweight individuals and then gained weight up until a healthy level. This is referring to women who have gained 30+ lbs. for no reason, and continue to gain it without care.

There was a rather large debate on FaceBook awhile back regarding this topic. A survey interviewed a large number of men about various topics, such as sex, relationships, and lifestyle. This one however, caused the most controversy and the most heat among the females. Here is a result from the study, taken from AskMen.com:

“48% of men said they would leave their partner if she became fat.”

Now, while I don’t necessarily think it’s right that a man would drop his partner if she gained some weight, I can hardly blame him for losing attraction and having second thoughts if she refused to better herself.

In the same respect, women have been known to do similar things. If your man is suddenly broke and refuses to find a new job and just play video games all day, would you want to stick around that, regardless of how much you loved him? Unlikely. This isn’t because you are necessarily a gold digger, or very shallow. It just shows a lack of caring on the man’s part. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t care, and who doesn’t take care of themselves. Nobody wants to be with someone who disregards everything and stops giving a fuck about what happens to them.

Not attractive either.

Not attractive either.

As far as men who want their partner to lose weight if she happens to let herself go…I’m sorry ladies, but a man is not going to change overnight for something that has been biologically programmed into his head since the dawn of time. A man sees what he deems an attractive specimen, and makes a beeline for her, subconsciously knowing that she would breed good children and make a good mate.

Attraction and love are two very different things. No one ever falls in love at first sight. They can however fall into lust. Have you ever seen a very attractive guy or celebrity and think, “Holy shit, I’m so in love!” This is why we have so much confusion these days. While some men may have been attracted to your personality, 99% of men upon first encounter will be attracted to your physical appearance more than “what’s inside” since the outside is the first thing they see.

Don’t take offense to this, however. There is no stopping a biological response to an attractive woman. A guy will see an attractive woman and approach her simply because she is attractive, regardless of what her personality is like. If he finds that she is intolerable, he may leave her. But you see what I’m getting at, yes? Attraction is always the first thing. A man cannot sense your personality from across the room without ever having heard you speak. But he saw your pleasant smile, lovely body, and confidence, and thought he would approach you and ask you your name.

Men were not programmed to see your inner beauty upon first encounter. Men look at Megan Fox and all they can think of is procreating with her because of her looks, not because they know her well and think she has a beautiful personality.

Wouldn't matter if she had a bitch personality. Megan is stunning.

Wouldn't matter if she had a bitch personality. Megan is stunning.

“I didn’t have a perfect body when my husband fell in love with me! He loved me 50 lbs. ago and he loves me even more now, and I’ve gained 100 lbs. since our marriage!”

So…you managed to find a guy who looked past physical appearances and fell in love with you as a person. You’re pretty damn lucky, I won’t lie.

But how many of you get offended if your husband or boyfriend points out you need to lose some weight? COUNTLESS women will yell at him and cry and tell him he’s hurt their feelings. Despite the fact he gave you a chance and showed you that looks are not the only important thing, as soon as he asks for a little something in return to make you more physically appealing to him, you throw it in his face and whine to your girlfriends about how he’s “so mean”.

Your husband may still love you, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he is very happy. That being said, if your husband or boyfriend completely let himself go and gained 100 lbs, you might still love him, but you also might not be as attracted to him as you used to be.

Here’s an excerpt from an article I read regarding this subject as well, which pretty much sums things up:

“He’s found someone who he liked for non-physical reasons; somehow noticed the chubby girl standing in the corner with a Mai Tai and for some reason actually approached her while every fiber of his loins told him to instead saunter up to the moist mammal in the tube top whose ass is such an example of geometric perfection that Archimedes himself would have shouted Eureka at its sight.

He somehow saw the diamond in the rough that is you and is willing to help you hack at the overgrowth to get to the jewel.

He’s not insisting you develop a passion for midget wrestling or that you give up meat. He’s not asking you to give up your religious beliefs and instead worship the Rutabaga god that commands his faith. And neither is he asking you to submit to his sexual perversion, which involves nipple clamps, a bucket of canned meat, and a 15-horsepower leaf blower.

All he’s asking is that you lose 15 pounds.”

And you know what? He’s right. And more than likely, you probably need to lose a little more than 15. He’s just hoping you’ll get motivated after losing 15 and go on to losing another 25.

All men and their wants aside, why would you not want to do this for yourself, if not anyone else? You should be trying to maintain your appearance and health regardless of whether your partner thinks you’d look better doing so or not. The kind of women who complain about this are the ones that get married and turn into Jabba the Hutt, expecting their husband to continue to feel the same way he did when they met, without ever wishing for anything more. They feel like now that they have a ring on their finger, they don’t have to worry about attracting anyone anymore, so anything goes.

Let’s get real, ladies.

Despite how much he loves you, sometimes a man just can’t stand to watch their woman go from 10 to zero in a matter of years. Despite how much he adores you and thinks you’re a wonderful person, if he loses attraction to you and can’t get aroused because having sex is like playing hide and go seek with your fat rolls or making love to a butterball turkey, you can’t expect him to have a healthy relationship.

It’s hard to not be giving in to the temptress at the bar he goes to on the weekends with the perfect body and sultry eyes, simply because she is attractive. It’s not that he doesn’t love you, it’s that he isn’t attracted to you, and one cannot function very well romantically in a relationship if the attraction is fading.

I’m sure we would all love for men to see our inner beauty before our external beauty, but it’s just not how it works. Through history, beautiful women have brought kings to their knees, and other powerful figures to ruin. Beauty has more control over a man than you could ever imagine (don’t hate me for letting out the secret, guys).

Going from slim/normal to being fat as soon as you’re married shows a lack of care and respect for yourself. No man is going to want to be around that. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY. Why wouldn’t you want your husband/boyfriend to find you attractive? Is having another donut and watching TV instead of working out more important to you than being healthy and keeping your man and more importantly, YOU happy?

And I say you, because I haven’t met a woman who gained so much weight in a period of time who was happy over the fact that she gained the weight. Most of the time they bitch and moan about “skinny girls” and how they’re “so unhealthy”, and then proceed to stick their face into a tub of ice cream, and complain about their fail genetics.

One of the reasons your man is not comfortable with pointing these things out to you is that 98% of the time if he told you that you needed to lose some weight, you’d probably cry and get defensive. And then when he gets fed up and leaves, it’s suddenly:

“Why didn’t he just say something about my weight? Jerk! I deserve better!”

It has nothing to do with being a “real man” either, so don’t pull that crap. A REAL man is more visual than a woman. Never put all of this on men. If a man gets fat in a relationship, it’s his fault…but when a woman gets fat, it’s suddenly the man’s fault. See what I’m getting at?

Responsibility for your actions is where it’s at. Respect for your partner is where it’s at. Respect for yourself and your body is where it’s at. If you love and have respect for the person you love, you will do things to help keep him happy. I know guys who gave up their lazy lifestyles and hit the gym just because they knew their girlfriend would like it.

So why aren’t women willing to do that for men?

Instead of expecting your partner to be happy to ride the waves, why don’t you just lose some weight? It’s not the end of the world. No one is saying you’re a hideous beast, and no one is forcing you. It’s not as difficult as people make it out to be either.

But this is a choice that YOU have to make. Nobody can change you for you. I’m just giving a fair warning of a strong possibility of what may happen if you stop caring.

MEN:

Same goes for you. If your lady if putting in the work and keeping herself in shape, it’s your responsibility to keep in shape as well. NOBODY should be letting themselves go. So put the bag of chips down and pick up a barbell.